I bought some really tasty (and expensive) cheese at whole foods today. Apparently, it was too delicious for Blanche to pass up, even though she knows the kitchen table is off limits. She ate the whole wedge (minus the sliver I had already sampled), including the plastic film.
blanche sounds like my kinda dog t b q h
Fandom: Harry Potter
“They say that the sound of Voldemort’s orgasm was enough to kill 10,000 puppies.”
Fandom: The Bible
“‘shit why am i in space.’ Jesus wondered.”
that’s it. the internet is officially over.
“The beach scene draws in and fades like a puckered bikini bottom to a butt crack.”
“Sometimes you just have to smack a bitch, you know?”
Lewis Payne (April 22, 1844 – July 7, 1865) was one of the co-conspirators executed for his role in the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln and for his attempt of the life of Secretary of State William Seward. Payne injured Seward in a knife attack but failed to kill him. He was later captured by Union troops when he attempted to rejoin his co-conspirators at a Washington DC boardinghouse. After a military tribunal found him guilty of conspiracy and attempted murder, he was executed by hanging along with three of his co-conspirators at the Washington Navy Yard on July 7, 1865. Despite being an attempted murderer, he had amazing bone structure and was really very handsome!